


Photo Op

by animegrl421



Category: South Park
Genre: Humor, Innuendo, M/M, Sexual Content, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-03
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-03 07:59:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1067994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animegrl421/pseuds/animegrl421
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A photo is worth more than a thousand words-namely the most drama to have seen South Park in ages. Now to wait for this whole thing to just blow over, without Kyle noticing that is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: The Accidental Picture

Kenny pulled on his shirt, only blinking as his locker door was shut by someone beside him.  Eyes turned to the culprit.  “Hey, Craig, what’s up?”  he asked.  Then, “You know I wasn’t through with that, right?”

 

Craig ignored him, “Red says you guys never slept together.  She told me you made it all up because she refused to date you that one time.”

 

Kenny blinked again, tilting his head in confusion.  “But, we did-”

 

“Not.”  Craig interrupted. 

 

The locker room became silent after that, news of Craig’s announcement making its way across the small space in a matter of seconds.  “But I have proof.”  Kenny replied.

 

Craig gave him a doubtful look.  Though, from Kenny’s point-of-view all of Craig’s looks were dubious.  “Where is it then?”

 

Kenny opened his locker slowly, looking defiantly at Craig as he pulled it open-daring the boy to close it on him again.  He proceeded to pull his phone out from the pocket of his jeans.  He flipped it open, paying no heed to the numerous people beginning to form a crowd around the two as he searched through the picture files.  Finding the proof, he turned it around to face Craig- 

Who gaped.  “Is that really her?”

 

“In full glory, my friend.”  Kenny replied proudly.  “She put out faster than Bebe on a Saturday night at one of Token’s drunk fests.”

 

The phone was taken by someone to his side.  “Hey!  That’s precious merchandise!” 

 

“No kidding…”  Kenny heard Token say from the back. 

 

Kenny reached out, trying to get his phone back when it was passed down through the crowd.  “Fuck you guys!”  he declared, glaring at the crowd.  “If you guys get your man juices all over it…”  he began threatening.  He never finished though, because shortly after his declaration someone apparently decided to press the “next” button.

 

“Holy shit, you did a dude?” 

 

The crowd’s madness stopped at that, all eyes turning to the blond.    _Shit._  He raised an eyebrow in response, hands over his chest defensively.  “Do you blame me?”  he asked.  “Look at him!”    _Shit, maybe I shouldn’t let them-_  


 

“Fuck, dude…This is…”

 

“Threatening your sexuality, I know.”  Kenny finished.  He shifted, eyes scanning the crowd for said-dude.  Not seeing him, he sighed heavily in relief.  “That one’s something else.”  he said fondly.  He knew the exact picture, having it memorized by now.

 

It rivaled Red’s runny makeup and whore smirk any day.  Legs wide open, arms up in a true surrender.  Bare chest littered with scars from the night, flushed body-a redness creeping up from the neck only to cut off right before the chin.  Toned stomach gleaming with droplets of sweat- of passion not even the best of whores could mock.  Chest caught in a great heave, close to the breaking point of both parties.  A true moment, one he'd never forget.  Not something he found often.  Though, he knew before he had a taste that this one was by no means the regular whores he did in his spare time.  He was a bit too distracted at the time to even try for another picture.  And who could blame him?  The night had been too perfect.  Though, he was more than thankful he hadn’t shown more.  This was already going to get him a year of teasing with no release if it got out-which it no doubt would judging by the crowd of horny dudes surrounding him. 

 

“Guys!”  he yelled, hand out for his phone.  “Enough of the group jerk- Phone. Now.”

 

Clyde had it, he found after, and proceeded to press a few buttons rapidly before handing it back.  Kenny didn’t think too much on this as his phone was returned, the picture still up on the screen tauntingly.   _Calm down…  Remember you’re in public…_  he reminded himself, eyes scanning the picture as memories pushed forth.  He shook them away, trying to think of the present.

 

There was a pause then, “So…I’m just gonna put on some pants then.”  Kenny said, gathering his jeans from his locker.  He pulled them on slowly over his bare bottom, briefly wondering if he should start wearing underwear to avoid these types of situations.

 

The silence around him begged to be broken, his own awkwardness making him too self-aware for his liking. He knew only one way to break it.

  
“Sorry Craig, I know you wanted to stop me from covering myself but teachers just wouldn’t understand your desperate need for my body to constantly be put on display…”  He patted the fuming-boy’s shoulder, the only response a middle finger raised heatedly in his direction.  He flipped him off in turn, walking out of the room as he did so.  He didn't need to look back to know that Craig was giving him a death-glare.  Though, it was probably diluted with confusion and horniness.  The two usually go hand-in-hand with situations like these...

 

He knew all this only meant trouble.  And God be his witness, he was going to get his fill tonight before the other found out what had happened.  He flipped open his phone, thumbing through the contacts.  Finding him, he texted, ** _Cum ovr 2nite & u wont b able 2 walk 2mro ;)_**  


 

The phone vibrated directly after it was sent, and Kenny smirked at the response.

 

_With statements as romantic as that, how could I possibly say "no?"_

 

Typical Kyle.


	2. The Not-So Accidental Picture (At Least on One Side)

Kyle tapped his pencil against his thigh, glancing at Stan ever so often to find his friend staring at the board with squinted eyes. "Still refuse that you need glasses?" Kyle whispered. He laughed quietly at Stan's glare. "You know, that'd work better if you were looking directly at me, right?" he teased.

"Shut-up, dude! I don't need glasses, they're for geeks."

"Geeks, Stan? Really? When did we suddenly appear on 1970's television?" Kyle asked, "Better yet, on a dated after-school special."

Stan sighed, "Nevermind, maybe I should get glasses."

" _Finally,_ you know-"

"Compared to you I'd never look as nerdy. Seriously, dude? '1970's television show?' I'm assuming you have a reference in there too, knowing you."

" _Happy Days_ was a popular show, Stan, and the point is-"

" _Was_ popular. We hang out why again?"

"Because you can't get enough of my dated references. Try to hide it all you want, but I know the truth." Kyle smiled, "Besides, I guess I can start using _Star Trek_ references instead."

"Are you being serious?" Stan blinked at him, already knowing the answer. "You know that isn't any better, in fact I think I'm going to pretend I don't know you for a couple days just for saying that."

"It's way too late for pretending dude, I think everyone already knows." Kyle pointed out smoothly.

Stan looked around, "No, surely not."

"It's true. Some daring to say we're even," Kyle lowered his voice to barely a whisper, " _friends."_

"Maybe we did give it away too easily…" Stan shrugged half-heartedly. "I knew we shouldn't have shared that milk at breakfast…"

"I guess it didn't help that you dragged me to class today…" Even through the playful banter he couldn't help a small glare at this.

Noticing the glare Stan only crossed his arms defensively over his chest. "My pulling you out of every fight with Cartman could be said as my volunteer work to better society."

"So could my beating Cartman to a bloody pulp."

"So could ignoring Cartman."

"There is no ignoring that ignorant selfish-"

Stan interrupted before the rant could really start, _"'Do or do not, there is no try.'"_

" _Suuure_ I'm the geek." Kyle replied with a raised eyebrow.

There was a pause in which both gave each other angry looks before-

"Stan just get the damn glasses already!"

"No."

"You know, Stan, someone great once said, _'Don't try to be a great man, just be a man…'_ in glasses."

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in response. Kyle's smirk didn't help the matter one bit.

"Ah, come on, Stan, you used to love that line!" Kyle argued.

"Back when I didn't know any better."

"You mean back when you had tastes."

A vibration from his pocket had him looking around the class for the teacher before pulling out his cell phone. A text from Kenny, _Cum ovr 2nite & u wont b able 2 walk 2mro ;)_

He bit his lip at the words, eyes shifting from a semi-curious Stan to the teacher once more. Willing himself not to laugh at the words, he replied: _**With statements as romantic as that, how could I possibly say "no?"**_

"Kenny?" Stan asked knowingly. "What'd he send this time, another joke about Bebe's tits?"

Once more trying to keep a calm façade underneath his best friend's questioning gaze, he replied stiffly. "Yep, something about their resilience to reduction surgery and their taking over of the universe if they grow yet again."

Stan hmm'd on this, clearly not believing him. The redhead almost groaned in frustration. Not at Stan's suspicions, no, the other was pretty much spot-on to believe he was hiding something. Or really someone. "And he's still on this, why?" Stan asked.

Kyle gave him a dubious look, "Stan. It's Kenny."

The other sighed, "Guess you're right."

The bell rang as if sensing Kyle's worries of being found out. He lingered behind with Stan as they always did as they both gathered their belongings. "I'm always right," he stated.

"Sure you are," Stan replied, throwing an arm around Kyle's shoulders before they began their trek into the hallway. "Except on my eyewear."

"Or lack thereof," Kyle added. "But I am right. Can't wait to say told you so later."

"Then you will be waiting forever!" Stan said with finality, leading the redhead toward his class. When they arrived at the door, Stan removed his arm.

"Or more like tomorrow when you finally realize you can't keep walking into walls with the lame excuse of 'wasn't paying attention.'" Kyle countered, pushing his messenger bag strap more fully onto his shoulder.

"Dude, I really don't pay attention and besides, when's the last time you saw me walk into a wall?"

"How about yesterday?"

"Okay, so that _one_ time!"

"You walked into it twice." Kyle argued back, crossing his arms in defiance.

"So, it happened twice, could've happened to anyon-"

"In a row, Stan?" Kyle questioned.

"Whatever, dude," Stan replied after a moment of consideration. The redhead rolled his eyes at the words. _He must really think glasses look bad. Too bad he doesn't want contacts. Stupid eye touching phobia…_

"Uh-huh," Kyle stated doubtfully as he patted the other softly on the shoulder. "See you, dude."

"Yeah, see ya." Shaking his head, Kyle took his leave toward his own class further down the hall.

Walking through the halls, Kyle could only shake his head as he pushed through a few crowds of lingering people. He glanced down as he passed, noting the phones they held in their hands. _Typical South Park teenager, can't walk and text at the same time._ Perhaps it was too much to ask that if they can't simply do two impossibly easy tasks at once that they move out of the _fucking_ way. But of course, they can't even manage to walk to their class, how in the world would they manage standing next to their lockers or perhaps the blank wall next to that?

He groaned, hallway traffic becoming near a standstill as groups stopped mid-walk to stare gapingly at screens. "You've got to be kidding me right now…" he muttered. Shaking his head, he could only seethe in silence now. He shifted toward the white wall, sighing in relief as the single file line walked toward his class. Sure it was a slow pace, but at least it was moving.

Nearing his destination, the line spread out finally, the group stalling the line now behind them. Kyle found his curiosity pushing him to look back. _Of course, Clyde and his group of jocks._ They were in a huddle together; talking in hushed tones compared to usual loud yells they called their indoor voices.

He couldn't help but wonder why they weren't throwing the "old pigskin" around the hall annoying the shit out of him as per usual. He couldn't complain much about that he supposed because at least throwing a football didn't cause such traffic.

Entering the classroom, he took his regular seat beside the small window. It was his only escape when question and answer time started. He used to be so patient when people asked their questions, but now he couldn't strain himself to do so. Ramming his head on the desk would be more enjoyable than listening to yet another question and answer like, "What are some of the factors leading to the Great Depression?" with the awe-ensuing answer- "Um, when people realized they were depressed greatly?"

It didn't help that the teacher would try to explain in terms even a one-year-old would understand with ease what exactly he was looking for answer-wise. It was torture. It didn't help, he supposed, that he had already read and taken notes on more than ten chapters ahead in class. Not that his mother would have any less from him.

Thinking of his mother only had him lowering himself further in his seat. He supposed lying to her would be the best bet tonight, since he'd no doubt not be coming home. At least she rarely followed up on his saying he was going to Stan's house. Well, small favors and all that.

He hid his phone under his desk, looking at his latest text from Kenny. He smiled at the perverted comment for a second time, a flurry of excitement bubbling in his chest. He wondered what tonight would actually be like. The teacher's voice had him putting his phone away hurriedly. He felt a small twinge of regret at the action as a vibration alerted him of a new text.

_Please go by quickly._ he pleaded, knowing the text would have to wait until after class. _The only teacher that actually gives a shit also has hawk-eyes._

Class hadn't gone by quickly. In fact it was a slow torture at best. He bolted out the door after, more than ready to leave. Though, he supposed it was both the fact he was the only one in the advanced class out of his entire group of friends. Well, besides Wendy, but she hated talking in that class. He sighed, heading to lunch quickly.

He couldn't help but stare as the crowds multiplied as they had earlier. More and more people had formed groups of people looking at their phones and sharing them with others. _A new app maybe?_ He walked slower to avoid hitting the randomly stopped or stopping people in front of him.

_Wait, didn't I get a text?_ Wondering briefly if it was a mass text causing the disruption, he took out his phone and moved toward the bathroom to get away from the overbearing amount of stationary people. He sighed in relief at the barren room, opening his phone's lock screen. Seeing the new message screen, he opened the message-only to drop it in shock as someone shoved him into the wall behind him. "Ow!" His cry of pain was oppressed as lips pressed harshly against his own. Hands grasped his shoulders, pressing his back more fully onto the wall it had just hit.

Shock had him standing still as the person took advantage of his surprise. Then, his teeth bit into the soft lower lip as his knee connected with the groin harder than needed yet needed at the same time- "Shit, Kyle! What the fuck?"

Kyle glared at a crumpled Kenny, willing his body to stop its shaking. "Dude, seriously? I think some random dude's going to molest me and you're surprised I only stopped there?"

Watery blue eyes stared back at him as hands covered Kenny's most prized possession. "You can't molest the willing, Kyle!" he winced, expecting another kick to the balls. Instead Kyle glared harder, crossing his arms. "Fine, no more spontaneousness!"

The redhead rolled his eyes. "That's not even a word."

Kenny pushed himself to a more upright position, one hand lowered to protect his groin just in case. "But you've said it before!"

Kyle sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in a very Stan-like fashion. "Not in that form-just, you know what? Nevermind. We're going to lunch."

"But, Kyle, I worked hard to get us in this bathroom-"

"Dude, we both know you randomly saw me then assaulted me. No more, no less. But if you plan on being persistent I know of a few less-than sexy things to stop that train of thought. Besides, thinking you're about to be molested is a real mood-killer on this end."

With that said, Kyle began to walk from the bathroom, only to turn around at the door as he remembered his phone was on the floor somewhere. Widened eyes scanned the floor quickly before looking up to the blond to ask about the object when they fell upon said-object in Kenny's hand.

Kyle sighed in relief, "Thank God. I thought it'd been flung into a urinal or some shit."

Kenny's head tilted before he held the phone out for Kyle. "Who's to say it wasn't in one?" he questioned.

"Because you wouldn't have touched it?" Kyle asked back slowly.

"You'd be surprised at the shit I'd do." Nevertheless, Kenny let Kyle swipe the object from him easily.

"Apparently not anymore. Fucking attacking me in the _public_ restroom…" Kyle muttered in response. The redhead searched the screen for marks when his eyes saw the picture glaring up at him. He growled, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What?" Kenny asked innocently.

"Dude," Kyle held the phone up, the picture in question blaring at the room. "A picture of your dick? Can you possibly be any more perverted?" he asked before holding the phone out of Kenny's reaching hands as he deleted the offensive picture.

"Why'd you delete it? That was pure gold!"

Kyle sighed once more as he left the room with the blond trailing closely behind him. He ignored the crazy explanations about penises in society and how his happened to be beautiful and wanted by all the land.

_Maybe I shouldn't have ignored him,_ he realized as he allowed a few words past the wall he'd put up halfway down the hall. _Then, at least I wouldn't be wondering how the Hell he'd gotten on the subject of pancakes._

Entering the cafeteria, they took their place in line, Kenny's voice automatically becoming quieter in the loudness of the room. _Probably for the best. I just know I'd be ready to hit him by now otherwise. Don't know why I didn't before…_

"Hey, dudes, why're you talking about pancakes?" Stan's voice interrupted both Kyle's thoughts and Kenny's rambling. Kyle shook his head, and Stan nodded. "You're right, Kye, it's just Kenny's weirdness showing through words, right?"

"You forgot his stupidity." Kyle replied back shortly.

Kenny looked offended at the remark, but didn't respond as they reached the trays. Taking one each, they stepped forward in line. "Wait, so you're the one harassing me for pancake talk and you still haven't replied to Wendy about tonight?"

Stan glared at Kenny, "Dude…" he muttered, eyes darting to Kyle.

Kenny just shrugged, "Fuck dude, how was I supposed to know he didn't know? You guys are so weird, I assume you both tell each other everything then-boom! Nope, you're both pussies too scared to share anything in case you cross some imaginary bullshit line." Kenny ignored Stan's angry groan of frustration as he piled food onto his tray.

"Okay…" Kyle began, eyes shifting from Stan to Kenny and back again.

Stan sighed heavily, eyes lowering to the ground. "Wendy wants us to; you know….Go all the way tonight." A hand scratched at the back of his neck as he looked away from his best friend.

Kyle smiled, "That's great, dude! Why didn't you want me to know?"

Stan stiffened, voice turning to a whisper now, "I just, I didn't want you to get upset about it…"

Kyle tilted his head, copying Kenny as he piled food onto his own tray. He looked to Stan confusedly. "And I'd be upset about my best friend losing his virginity to the love of his life, why again?"

The other shifted his eyes to meet the redhead's. "I thought you might, you know, be jealous."

Kenny, who'd been pretending to gag at their gayness the entire time, began to laugh. Kyle hit him on the shoulder, which only greatened the loudness of the laughter. The redhead groaned, rolling his eyes at Kenny's immaturity.

"And I'd be jealous why, exactly?" Kyle asked, mind searching for possible answers and failing to find any.

Stan looked away again, gathering only a little food on his own tray. He mumbled when he spoke, "Because you're the only one of us that'd still be a virgin."

The blond in front of them stopped his laughter, making noises as if he was clearing his throat instead. Kyle smacked him on the back of the head, only blinking as Kenny choked on more laughs before pulling up his hood and pulling his parka strings to tighten the fabric. Kyle sighed, feeling guilt bubble in his chest at the words.

Kyle shook his head. "Stan, since when did that shit ever matter to me?"

"I know but…"

"As long as fat ass doesn't get a sober girl before one of us, then I'm good. Well, girl or dude. Whichever."

Stan smiled at him in relief, "Sorry dude, I just thought after that depressive state after Cartman's virginity loss that you'd get upset."

Kyle gave him a dumbfounded look. "I was depressed because it was _Cartman,_ Stan. _Cartman._ I'm still not getting how that even happened."

"Yeah, well, I'm sure no one does. Sure as Hell not Rebecca either. She's turned into a reborn virgin now, you know?"

Kyle laughed, albeit a bit nervously. "I would too if I'd done someone that grotesque." The guilt in his stomach had him turning away from Stan toward the cashier faster than usual. Paying quickly, he stood beside a hooded Kenny. He frowned at the smiling eyes, trying his best not to hit the other once again for his suspicious act. Noticing the redhead's frown, Kenny laughed again, coughing a little to cover it as Stan approached them after paying.

They walked to their table, not batting an eye at the already-seated Cartman. "Hey fags, took you long enough."

Said-boy didn't even look up at them as they chose their seats. Instead, he flipped through a magazine as he ate heartily. Kenny dug in immediately, pulling down his parka hood for better access and smiling widely as he devoured his food. Kyle sighed, not even responding to Cartman's comment.

Stan shifted in his seat, "Dude, I forgot my milk…"

Kyle turned to him, "I'm starting to think you're doing this on purpose, Stan."

The other shook his head in defiance, "Hey, this morning I didn't forget it!"

"Yeah, it was punctured," Kyle responded. "By your fork."

"By accident."

The redhead smiled, "Fine, steal my milk, but you're not taking my fries this time!"

Stan groaned as he took the milk and opened it. "But you never eat them!" he complained. "Which is fucking weird by the way because it-"

"-disrupts society and their values and eating habits. Not to mention the potato itself and its fried, delicious pleasure." Kyle finished, unimpressed. "And I'd finish them if you didn't steal them!"

"God, you guys are so fucking gay." Cartman commented loudly.

Stan gasped loudly, "How'd you know?" He turned to Kyle with a betrayed look in his eyes, "You told?"

Kyle's eyes dropped from Cartman to the floor, "I-I did," he said lowly before turning to look at Stan with determination, "But someone had to!"

Kenny just blinked as he ate, stealing a few fries from Kyle's plate as they argued. He ate them slower than his own food, watching the show his friends constantly provided him.

That made Stan stop, face turning from overdone frustration to resignation. "You're right, Kyle. We should've never hidden it!"

"Oh Stan, thank you!" Kyle replied, hugging the boy next to him.

Cartman gave them both a look of pure hatred. "I hate you guys so much."

Stan gasped a second time, a look of shock lining his features. "Why, Car-Car?"

Kyle buried his head in Stan's shoulder to stifle his laughs at the nickname. His shoulders shook from the effort, as he pretended to cry.

Stan patted his back, "Why would you say something so hurtful?"

"You guys, I'm seriousleh, stop your faggy bullshit or I'm going home."

"We can't help who we are, Car-Car!"

"I swear Stan, one more time-"

"Oh Stanley, you're so courageous!" Kyle said suddenly, if only to interrupt Cartman. He held tightly onto the other. "Pronouncing our love together and just moments later- defending it!" He pulled himself back, holding Stan by the shoulders now. He felt the other's hands hold onto his lower back.

"Oh, Kyle, you know I'd do anything for us-for our love. For nothing is as strong, nor as fragile, as our need and belonging to one another."

Kyle batted his eyes at the other, "Do you mean it, do you really mean it, Stanley?"

"I do, my love. And one day, I hope our children will share the same feelings as we do, for another."

The redhead's eyes widened dramatically with the words, "Do you mean-"

"We shall be together 'till the oceans empty and leave a barren land, 'till the sky darkens and the sun never brightens it again, 'till the earth itself crumbles and humanity no longer exists."

The back of his hand pressed against his forehead as the redhead gave a dazed look. "Oh God, 'tis too much, my love. I am feeling faint!"

"That's it, screw you guys-"

"OH!" Kyle collapsed as Stan lifted him in his arms, standing now.

"Oh dearest, I shall carry you with me now, just as I always will."

"I'm going home." With that, Cartman stood from his place, leaving his empty tray on the table and grabbing his bag and magazine. He flipped off both Stan and Kyle, the former of which fanned the latter whole-heartedly with the hand not keeping the redhead from falling.

Kenny watched him leave, finishing both his plate and most of Kyle's fries now. He sipped at his milk, wondering if Kyle would care or even notice if he stole the burger sitting untouched on the edge of the tray.

Watching Stan gather the redhead into his arms, he took that as a no and began on the meal once more.

Kyle peeked an eye open as if sensing Kenny's stealing, "Dude, stop stealing my food."

Kenny, who had been picking up the burger, paused. "But Ky-le…You and Stan are too busy being corny romance novel characters…"

"Kenny."

"It's okay, my love, I shall defend your food from this thief!" Stan declared, pretending to unsheathe a sword as Kyle gasped. "Unhand the lunch food!" he demanded, pointing the imaginary weapon at Kenny.

Kenny blinked, unimpressed. "I'm starting to wonder why I hang out with you guys…" Nevertheless, he let the burger fall from his hand back onto the tray only to pick up a fry and throw it at the two. "Stop that shit." he said, watching the horrified looks the two gave him with a nonchalance years of experience gave him.

"Oh! The pain!" Kyle said falling once more limply in Stan's arms as the fry hit him on the side and fell to the floor. A piece of salt fell from the fry at it hit the tile, landing on a spot next to it as if a tiny tear was shed from rejection.

"Oh no! My dear, please, please be okay! You'll make it, I promise!"

"Stan…" Kyle moaned out, making Kenny cringe. "Please, please," he coughed, "tell Cartman. That I hate him…"

"You can tell him yourself, Kye!" Stan picked him up, ignoring the tries to get away as he did so. "I'll take you to a healer, you'll be safe, Kyle, I promise!"

Kenny watched with a huff as Stan fast-walked with a reluctant Kyle in his arms out of the cafeteria. He took the burger once more, taking a bite from it slowly. "Don't want your shit taken, don't leave your shit. Speaking of which…" Kenny's foot reached Kyle's bag under the redhead's chair and dragged it toward himself. Taking out the phone that had absently been left in a side pocket, he checked the messages for the second time that day. For if there was one thing, Kenny McCormick had learned over the years, it was that you could never, ever be too careful. Ever.

Meanwhile Kyle struggled out of his friend's hands. "Let me down, Stan!"

Stan laughed as he paused outside the cafeteria. "Dude, that was fucking great!"

"I'm serious, Stan." Kyle pushed at his chest, only a second away from hitting the boy.

"I can't believe Cartman actually left!"

At the reminder of Cartman and his reaction, Kyle laughed despite himself. "Oh God, that nickname!"

Stan smiled, "He's so pissed."

They both laughed as Stan finally let an annoyed yet smiling Kyle down from his arms. Feet hit the floor as body swayed upright. "You know I hate being carried, right?"

"More than anyone," Stan replied cockily.

"Ugh." Kyle shook his head, a hand rubbing his face tiredly. Then, he paused, "You do realize we left our food with Kenny, right?"

"So?"

" _Kenny."_ Kyle repeated as if it made sense.

And by Stan's practical jumping through the cafeteria doors, it made perfect sense.

Kyle shook his head again, following at a much slower pace. He knew it was pretty much too late for his food. And as the bell rang, he realized it was too late to eat anyway. _Stupid twenty-minute lunches._ He went to grab his bag to see Stan devouring whatever Kenny had left alone on his plate. "You're taking my tray back," he alerted a content Kenny.

"But-"

"You ate it, you're taking it back."

"But-"

Kyle shrugged, trying mimicking the look Kenny usually gave whilst doing the same. "I don't care if it makes sense." he interrupted as if reading the blond's thoughts. He grabbed his bag from under his chair, pulling the strap over his shoulder.

_Well, lunch was a bust. At least dinner will be interesting…_

The thoughts of the future had him grinning as he entered his next classroom. _Almost time._

By the middle of the class, Kyle was fed-up with Cartman. The boy really had gone home, but his leaving apparently couldn't be a cause for celebration just yet as another text lightened the screen on the redhead's phone. _If it's Cartman I swear to God-_

He opened the phone, seeing it was indeed from Cartman. _Again? Really?_ He bit his lip, contemplating opening the message this time-knowing it was to get him pissed. "Goddammit," he muttered under his breath when his screen lit to show another message. He opened it to see it wasn't from fat ass. _Kenny._ Eyes shifted to the teacher and back to his phone.

He read the message, _u & stan r fukin' weird._

Rolling his eyes, he thumbed out a response, _**Annnnd?**_

It took a moment before the next reply, _u shur hes n2 chicks?_

_**Before I answer that specifically can I just point out that "shur" and "sure" have the same amount of letters?** _

_annnnd?_

Kyle could almost hit his head against his desk repeatedly. _**You could have just typed- Nevermind. And you know Stan and I are just friends, and he loves Wendy more than anything or anyone. You know we were just playing around.**_

_so u guys play wit each other?_

_**I'm going to stop responding soon.** _

_but im boarrrrrd…._

_**Kenny, I tutored you. I know you know that's not the right-stop doing that!** _

_i thawt u wanted 2 do stuf 2nite?_

Kyle really wanted to groan in frustration yet a re-read of the words stopped him. He replied slowly, unsure how to phrase the next line. _**You know I meant the grammar shit. Everything else is definitely happening.**_

The reply took longer than usual, but Kyle had been expecting that. _good ull b cumin b4 u no it_

And even with the wrong grammar, Kyle couldn't help but give his own personal smile to the message. He hoped Kenny was right for once.

Even with his thoughts running rampant, his center focus became tonight. They both could use the stress relief, he knew. And seeing Stan run up to him after he exited his last class, he felt the euphoria slow to a halt. _Goddammit, why do I have to be reminded that Stan doesn't have a clue about this yet? Stupid morals and shit…_

"Hey, dude!"

"Hey, what's up, Stan?" Kyle asked in the least-strained tone he could manage, tilting his head in question at this other. Stan shook his head, walking beside the redhead as they went to their lockers.

"I'm finally doing it, dude…" Stan muttered so only Kyle could hear. "I can't believe it, I'm so fucking nervous and-I'm sorry." Stan stopped sat that, eyes searching the floor at his words.

"Dude, if you act sorry for bringing up this again, then I reserve a right to hit you. I already told you, I don't care about that shit. Besides, you deserve this, you both do." Kyle said, patting his friend on the shoulder. "And don't be nervous, it's both your first times, so don't panic or anything."

Stan shrugged, "I know I shouldn't be nervous 'cause it's Wendy and she's perfect but I am. You know, 'cause it's Wendy and she's perfect."

Kyle smiled softly at the remark, remembering his own trepidation at losing his v-card. He held the memory close to heart, keeping the sight of an almost overbearingly worried Kenny to himself. It was something he'd always need to remind himself of, if only to prove it happened. And to prove that Kenny was more than some pervert wanting a quick fuck.

The redhead shook his head, "Relax, dude, if you really love each other as deeply as we both know you do then she doesn't care how tonight goes physically. It's about the mental connection of it, Stan, the bodies are just to add to the mood so to speak."

Stan gave him a long look after before giving a nervous laugh. "And I used to think you were cool."

The redhead gave him a glare at that, taking his hand back from the other's shoulder to cross his arms. "Hey! I'm extremely cool!"

"Yeah, cool for the nerdiest of nerds."

"I'll have you know that nerd is a term you should be jealous of!"

"Oh God, not a rant abou-"

"You see, Stan, 'nerd' basically means a person of high intellect an-"

"Did you have to start that again?" Kenny's voice interrupted the no-doubt long rant. "And I'm pretty sure the dictionary doesn't say that…"

Kyle huffed, turning to the blond boy behind him. "There's a lot of slang the dictionary doesn't cover. Besides, what it is used for in today's society-"

A hand covered his mouth, effectively cutting off his rant yet again. He mumbled obscenities through the appendage, extremely offended. Kenny smiled, giving a thumbs up to Stan with his non-busy hand. Stan just gave a nervous half-smile at the gesture, watching Kyle's glare harden slowly.

"Well, I'm going to just go now…" Stan trailed off as he backed out of an argument-to-be. "Thanks, Kyle," he added before practically bolting from the scene.

Kyle's eyes wondered to Kenny who just noticed he was angry at the covering of his mouth. The hand moved immediately after, the blond laughing slowly at the redhead. "So, tonight's going to be-"

"Shit!" Kyle interrupted, eyes widening in realization.

Kenny's eyebrows furrowed, "Um, I was thinking more on the lines of 'hot as Hell' or even 'great' but not…"

The redhead shook his head at the blond. "Not that, I fucking forgot about Stan and Wendy."

Kenny blinked at that, trying to figure out what he was apparently forgetting. "Is this some weird shit about not being able to have sex while Stan's having sex?" Hearing Kyle groan at him, he shrugged in defeat. "Okay, so not that? Dude, I don't fucking know!"

"Stan was my excuse." Kyle began. "I was going to tell ma I was with him, but he's probably going to use that as an excuse with his mom."

Kenny shrugged again, "And that's bad because?"

"My mom and his mom talk, so if either of us use it on the same night then they'll find out we're both lying by the next day max."

"So you're saying you have to be home?"

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Okay, then you've got two choices. One, you stay home or two you sneak out. I don't see a problem with either." Kenny said, placing his hands in his pockets, thumbs outside the fabric's hold.

Kyle sighed, "I don't know…" he groaned, "Probably sneak out."

Kenny smiled, "Knew you couldn't resist."

The redhead nudged him in the side. "Either way I have to go and-"

"Prepare yourself?"

Kyle just shook his head in response, opting to walk away from the blond instead of tempting him to rearrange anything he'd have said.

Getting away from the perverted blond, no matter how short of time, seemed an impossible task. He followed him on the way home, reminding Kyle that he couldn't help it as they lived around the same area. And reminding Kyle how mesmerizing his ass was in those jeans. "Goddammmit." Kyle muttered to himself as Kenny made himself known with his perverted comments shouted loudly at his backside. "I should've taken the bus."

"Kenny…" he growled in warning.

"Moan my name baby."

"Or maybe I should've asked Stan and Wendy for a ride home." he muttered again. _That would've been awkward but still…_ He started as a hand patted him on the rear. _Would've been worth it._

Kyle shrugged his bag's strap closer to his neck, rearranging it so it was more comfortable. He paused in his walk, sighing loudly and crossing his arms. He turned to stare at the blond with blank eyes.

Kenny stood, holding his arms up in mock surrender. "I can't help it, dude, I'm excited."

"And you can't wait until tonight, why again?"

"Because I'm horny nooooow…"

Kyle's palm hit his face, rubbing downward. He sighed again, resisting the urge to pinch his nose. "How about if you do one more thing like that it'll be you and your hand tonight?"

"Mm, talk dirty to me."

"How was that something you liked- you know what? I'm going to ignore you. Oh, and you're walking in front now."

"I do like taking the lead." Kenny admitted, smiling at Kyle's frown.

"Just go already."

Kenny chuckled to himself, passing Kyle with a wink. And though Kyle was slightly more relieved at the sight of Kenny passing him, he could have done without the exaggerated sashay. "I'm starting to wonder why I even agree to do this shit…"

The blond turned at the words, keeping a slight sashay as he walked backwards, "Because you love it and we both know it."

And as much as he'd love to prove Kenny wrong, he knew it was the truth. "Turn around."

"Mm, someone likes the view even more than I did. I bet it's how I work it!"

With that said, Kenny sashayed in earnest, earning more than disturbed glances by many a passersby at this point. Kyle couldn't help the small smile at the movements, only to frown again at the guilt still boiling in his chest. "I feel guilty," he admitted quietly. His eyes drifted downward, staying on the cracked sidewalk beneath him.

"About what?" Kenny questioned, pausing in his humming of "Poker Face" to turn back to Kyle. He grew more serious upon seeing said-boy's distraught look. Hands on hips, he tilted his head. "Is this about Stan? Dude, it's not that big a deal."

"I'm lying to my best friend about being a virgin, Kenny!" Kyle argued, hand finding a hip automatically as eyes looked to a tree. "I know it sounds stupid but…" he trailed, unsure how to phrase the sentence.

"It's not like you killed someone, he'll be fine. And it's not even up to you, remember? It's both of our secret."

Kyle nodded at that, "I know, I just keep thinking about it."

Kenny gave him a smile at that, walking the two steps to the redhead and pulling him close with an arm. "Then don't."

"I can't just not think about something," Kyle reminded.

"I'm sure I can think of a few things to take Stan off your mind…" Kenny said lowly.

Kyle bit his lip, pushing the blond away gently, "Yeah, but before that I have to get my shit together and get out of the house."

"You know, I still don't completely get how both of your moms don't find out about your lies the next day. I mean, you were going to say Stan was staying at your place, right? But if your mom doesn't see him there…"

Kyle shrugged, "We usually stay in the room anyway, we just use the 'you didn't see him come in' excuse and we're covered."

"Which brings me to wondering what you guys do together in an enclosed space for hours," Kenny began, nudging Kyle.

Kyle groaned, choosing to walk ahead again. He ignored the comments Kenny made as well as the ensuing laughter, choosing to head home as quickly as possible. And it being only a few steps away made this goal easier.

Kyle waved a hand goodbye, knowing very well he'd be seeing him in a couple hours. Kenny mimicked him, still laughing to himself on some random comment Kyle hadn't heard. Shaking his head, he entered his house, "Ma, I'm home!"

Meanwhile, Kenny walked past Kyle's home with the sashay gone completely. Eyes fell from happy to blank, thoughts switching from annoying Kyle to his most immediate problem. _Why the Hell didn't I think this shit through?_ he asked himself, kicking a rock to the road. "Stupid Clyde…" He knew arguing with the boy wouldn't change the past but _dammit_ did he want to punch the idiot in the face. Though, thinking on how the boy had basically shown him he was texting the picture to himself, he wanted to punch himself in the face for doing nothing to stop it.

Mirroring Kyle's angry demeanor, he groaned, "Goddammit." The picture was spreading faster than he'd have ever guessed. People everywhere were talking about it, about Kenny's being gay and the mystery man that made him that way. Thinking back to the many people he'd asked about it, he knew it'd be impossible to track. Kyle could easily be sent it more than once.

Picking the phone out of his pocket, he looked at the picture of their group as kids, Kyle and Stan hugging side-by-side whilst Cartman tried to take back Clyde Frog from Kenny in the background. It was a weird picture to take, but Stan's dad had been going through yet another camera phase so it was expected around that time.

He supposed he'd be one of the top suspects on Kyle's list once he found his phone missing-especially since he'd been the last one with him after the last class of the day. But as long as that picture was circulating, he knew it was the lesser of two evils. _At least living in the ghetto taught me to steal easily enough…_ Then he stopped, growling at himself, "Fucking Cartman, I don't live in the ghetto!" He ran a hand through his hair before settling to pull his hood over his head.

Judging by the two messages of the picture he'd already stopped Kyle from seeing-one by deleting and sending a picture of his dick, the next by simple deletion-he knew it'd be awhile before he could give the phone back. _I'm going to miss annoying the shit out of him with texts…_

He entered his house, not bothering to say hi to his parents as he passed. Checking his watch, he knew he still had an hour before he needed to pick up Karen from cheerleading practice. _Time enough to get my shit together then._

"Good night, ma!" Kyle called from his doorway, having already helped Ike into bed.

"Be sure to lock your window, they're saying there's another pedophile out! And tell Stanley goodnight for me."

"Okay, ma!" Kyle replied, rolling his eyes at the words. _Geez, way to make me feel like I'm four._

He shut the door, leaning against it tiredly. Pretending Stan was there had been way harder than he thought as his mom had gone crazy with talk about school. _"But, Kyle, Ike already graduated college, you need to study more!"_ Huffing with irritation, he plopped onto his bed.

_Just a few more minutes just in case…_ A creaking had him starting; he looked toward the sound, wide-eyed. His window had opened. Body stilled, instinct begging him to punch whoever was coming inside before it could get to him. He was about ready to follow through when a peek of blond hair had him sighing in relief and anger both. "Kenny, what the _fuck_ are you doing here?"

The blond shrugged, trying to pull himself all the way inside. "I got bored waiting." he replied easily.

Despite his frustration, Kyle ended up reaching out to help the other through the window. "And what if my mom hears you?"

Kenny laughed, "She'll think it's you and Stan fucking?"

"We're not doing it in here." Kyle stated almost immediately.

"But I'm already here…"

"Dude, this is my fucking house!"

"So? Usually it's my fucking house!" Kenny argued.

Kyle groaned, pinching his nose. "Is it some kind of kink for you to find new ways to annoy me?"

Kenny smiled at that, feet now fully on the carpet. "Kink? Why, Kyle, you really are starting to speak my language." Then, seeing Kyle's less-than-happy face, he shrugged. "You were all uptight about leaving, so I decided, 'why not stay?'"

He tilted his head at Kyle's stubborn expression before deciding to take matters into his own hands. Grabbing Kyle's collar, he pulled the other into a long kiss, his opposite hand gliding up the hem of the redhead's shirt. Kyle pulled away at first, but at Kenny's reluctance to let go, soon found himself pulling the other closer.

A phone ringing stopped the moment, Kenny groaned whilst Kyle looked around. "Dude is my ringtone coming from your pocket?"

"No…?"

Kyle glared, taking matters into his own hands as he reached into the parka for the phone. "Kyle, I like it when you're rough but-"

Kyle just shushed him, not even asking why his phone was there. Not _yet_ at least.

"Hello?" he answered, pushing Kenny away unconsciously as the blond tried to kiss him again.

" _Kyle, I don't know if I can do it, dude."_ Stan's voice answered.

Hands tugged at the redhead's hips, pulling him down on top of Kenny, who had taken a seat on his bed. He bit his lip to stop the surprised sound that had almost escaped him at the action. "Why not?"

Fingers tickled his skin, pushing underneath his shirt where they had left off. Kyle tried to move away, but Kenny pushed him back each time. "Stop!" he mouthed to Kenny, who just smirked.

" _Dude, it's just-How do I even know I'm going to be good?"_

"That's the-" He pushed at his shirt angrily, trying to keep the blond from pulling it off. He half-succeeded, until Kenny pushed his head underneath the fabric. "-the thing, Stan. You don't know. You probably won't." His tone was tense, as the other's lips pressed against his right nipple, a tongue peeking out to twirl around it. The redhead bit his lip, trying not to make a sound. He shifted on top of Kenny, legs trying to get off the bed. Hands held him there by the hips, pulling him further on top each try.

" _Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence."_

A nibble had him half-moaning into the phone, he quickly covered it with a groan, "I didn't mean it like that, dude… It's just, it's your first time. It's going to suck." And suck Kenny did, taking the bud into his mouth to play with it in earnest.

Kyle shook his head, paying close attention to not make a noise. His hand covered his mouth as a small noise rang out.

" _Dude, you okay?"_ Stan asked, worry seeping through his own irritation. _"If you want I can come over and-"_

"No!" Kyle said suddenly, "No, I just-I'm watching basketball and both teams are sucking. I want them both to just _stop._ " He said the last word in a demanding tone, trying once more to push the blond away. But Kenny wasn't going to go away.

Instead, a hand left his hip to travel downward. Kyle shook his head again, pushing at the blond once more. A one-armed awkward hug had him being pushed back onto his lap. The hand traveled to his jeans, pushing its way underneath them slowly; teasing Kyle's nerves on the way down.

" _There's a game on tonight?"_

" _No!"_ Kyle exclaimed as the hand reached its destination. It outlined his cock, teasing the nerves surrounding the area. His hand stopped its attempts to push the blond away, instead choosing to wrap around the other's shoulder. "It's-it's a recorded one. Anyway, you should go."

" _Um, okay?"_ Stan half-asked, half-stated, unsure what to think of his friend's weirdness.

Fingers lightly touched the area, taunting Kyle with their every move. And whilst his eyes glared at Kenny, his hand pulled him closer. "Dude, I mean, just-just go for it. What happens, happens. The important thing is that you-" he gasped as the hand clutched the length it had been taunting, "-you love each other and the rest is just history."

" _I guess…I dunno, I should probably get out of her bathroom anyway."_

"Bye, Stan!" Kyle said, hanging up immediately. He gulped, inhaling sharply at the stroke Kenny gave. "Fuck you, Kenny!"

The blond laughed, moving his head to capture the redhead's lips. "Skipping ahead, don't you think?" Laughter lightening, he kissed the heated cheeks, moving to play with a flushed ear. "And you know you loved every moment…" He licked at the lobe, his hand grinding against Kyle's cock.

Kenny smirked as Kyle moaned, pulling away briefly. "Now, I've got a few plans for tonight…"

-0-

Kenny stretched, paying special attention to not bothering the boy wrapped around him. He exhaled contentedly, a hand reaching down to rub through the red curls scattered outward across his chest. The owner of said-curls made a small noise at the motion, head burying itself more fully against his chest.

Grinning at the sight, he closed his eyes, fingers twirling the hair outward. The night had been one he'd never forget, just like all the others. A hand reached out, grabbing the phone on the nightstand. He licked his lips, opening the picture if only to prove last night existed to himself.

His morning 'problem' only worsened, body awakening rapidly with the sight. Memories flashed in his mind along with the moans accompanying them.

" _I can't believe you're making me do this." Kyle muttered, arms desperately trying to cover himself more fully._

_Kenny just pushed him down the bed eyes raking over every inch of him repeatedly. Dazedly, he replied. "Technically, it was a bargain."_

" _I'm getting the raw end of the deal." Kyle replied, a nervous hint to his voice edging out with the words._

_Kenny kissed his neck, "Not yet, but you're about to be." he promised breathily._

The blond sighed, hand itching to lower itself. The redhead almost completely on top of him twitched as if sensing he was about to do something 'perverted.' He grinned, trying to engrave the picture into his mind as if it could go away at any moment.

" _You look so slutty, Kyle…" Kenny teased, a finger tracing the fabric._

_The redhead shuddered, head burying itself into a pillow below him. Then, he shifted, tensing. "Kenny…"_

_He couldn't stop staring, it was hard enough to know the view would be gone just moments later. And according to how fucking hard he was, he knew it'd be a waste not to save. He gulped, eyes not leaving the sight as fingers found his phone._

He'd been unable to resist snapping a picture just then, the lighting, the mood, the redness of that _ass…_ He thumbed the image, desperately wanting to relive that moment.

_His heart pounded in his chest, "God, Kyle, you look so fucking hot right now…If anyone saw you they'd fucking die."_

_If anything the other grew redder, shifting from knee to knee in barely-concealed embarrassment. "Will you just hurry up and stop staring? It's fucking embarrassing."_

_As the picture snapped, he still didn't look away from the sight. He reached out, hand ditching the phone as arms hugged around the legs in front of him. His head lay against the cheeks in front of him happily. "Just give me a moment."_

He laughed under his breath, remembering the irritable Kyle that followed that moment. And staring at the picture, he couldn't help but wonder… And as Kyle awoke, blinking owlishly at him, he hit the 'send' button. _I just know I'm going to fucking regret this._ A peck on the lips distracted him from the thought as his hand closed his phone.

Clyde choked on his cereal a moment later, cheeks red and eyes wide he practically fell off his chair. His phone lay innocently on the table, open to a message from Kenny McCormick.

The text read, _i call this pic revenge bitch._

And in a way, it was revenge.

_Unlike the first picture, this one was from the back angle. On his knees, striped thigh-high stocking-clad legs spread open to reveal hands further away from the viewer, twisting in embarrassment around the cover from the bed nearest the headboard. Closest to the screen, toes curled with excitement, as thighs practically looked as if they were quivering in the position from either excitement or nerves. Between them the barely-covered beginnings of a no-doubt hard cock. Balls peeked out from around matching striped fabric, full cheeks practically hiding them from view. The cheeks-large, round, flushed innocently- greeted the viewer, both spread from the angle. The thong nestled in the middle, hiding the entrance underneath from view, taunting all with its very existence._

Kenny grinned at the sleepy redhead, "Morning." he greeted, moving a stray curl behind the other's ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The stockings and thong were Occulta's idea and picture. If she posts said-pic I'll leave a link here.


	3. The Artful Pose

_**Photo Op** _

_**The Artful Pose** _

Kyle yawned, smiling at the blond. "I can't believe it." he whispered.

"Believe what?" Kenny questioned, hand raking through the unruly curls.

"That I'm waking up with you right now after an amazing night together." Kyle replied, looking into Kenny's eyes.

The blond gave a light laugh, "You're always so gay in the mornings, dude."

Kyle slapped his chest lightly, "Shut up. You're ruining my good mood."

Kenny met his eyes at that, searching them for sincerity. He smiled, lifting the redhead's chin with his free hand, "Guess I'll just have to try to get it back then." he replied, pecking the lips for the second time that morning. At Kyle's laugh, he tugged at a curl. "Hey, don't laugh at me!" he said.

"I'm allowed to after you laughed at me," Kyle defended. "You're just as gay in the mornings, and that proves it."

Kenny shrugged, "Guess we're even then."

"Hm, for now." Kyle replied. "Oh! And don't forget your promise!"

Kenny stilled, "Oh yeah… That…" He remembered the bargain plenty. After all it had gotten Kyle into that outfit…

"Don't tell me you're going to give me the whole 'I don't want to' now?"

"No, no, not that, just…"

"What?" Kyle questioned quickly, worry filling his voice.

"I just think it's cute that you thought I wouldn't go with you in the first place." Kenny admitted, smile widening with Kyle's wide eyes.

"Are you serious?"

"Dude, it's just a con, I would've gone. And may I say, a _con?_ Kyle, you've denied your geeky side before but surely now you'll admit you-" Kyle cut him-placing the pad of his finger over the blond's lips. They in turn shut-blue eyes glancing to his own. A confused expression betrayed any amount of 'cool' Kenny would usually pretend to have.

"So, let me get this straight," Kyle began slowly. "You're telling me that I put on that ridiculous get-up for _nothing?"_ His voice grew higher at the end, disbelief surrounding his words.

"You mean I made you put on that _sexy as Hell_ get-up for nothing!" Kenny corrected.

Kyle pushed himself up at that, knees crawling over Kenny's legs when Kenny's hand on his elbow stopped him. "Oh, come on, Kyle! I'll still do something for you…"

"Like what?" Kyle asked, looking away determinedly.

"Depends, what do you want?" The blond put his free hand behind his head, leaning against it heavily.

"I don't know…" Kyle trailed. "The con was all I could think of."

"Cosplay in bed then?"

Kyle's head snapped to him at that, confusion written across his features. "What?"

"Hey, if you think about a comic con when you're getting all hot and heavy I've got to assume you want some roleplay involved." Kenny defended with a nonchalant look.

Kyle furrowed his eyebrows at him, "I wasn't thinking about it in that way!"

"Says the person who makes a bargain to go to one-"

"Shut the fuck up, Kenny, my good mood's gone now."

"Aw, don't be like that, dude, just think of it as a favor owed, 'kay?"

Kyle sighed, rubbing his cheek with the palm of his hand. "Why didn't you tell me you would've gone in the first place?"

"Um, in case you hadn't noticed, I was a bit distracted…" Kenny pointed out evenly.

Rolled eyes signified what Kyle thought of Kenny's own response before searching eyes landed on the window-it was just turning light. Worried, he asked, "What time is it?"

Kenny looked around, wondering if they'd knocked the alarm clock off the end table at some point. He looked down, finding his phone. "A little past seven."

"What, in the morning?" Kyle asked in disbelief, already knowing the answer.

"Yep." Kenny replied easily before he shook his head in realization, "Dude, that's fucked-up!" he complained, groaning.

"Tell me about it. The one time I don't have to get up early, I do. And I'm fully refreshed. Ugh. Fuck life."

"Why fuck life when you can fuck me instead?" Kenny asked automatically, wriggling his eyebrows all the while.

Kyle just groaned. "So, I've probably got some time before Stan calls..." _Actually hours if Stan's sleeping schedule of late is anything like my own._ "Any plans for the day?"

Kenny hummed, "How about we lay here all day? Or have sex again, I don't mind either."

"We can't do either though," Kyle answered.

"Why? It's working so far."

"Because, we've got to sneak you out then back into your house."

Kenny groaned at that, head pressing into the pillow further. "C'mon Kyle..."

"What do you want me to do? We can't just go stomping downstairs." Kyle responded, "Not like I can tell my mom, 'Hey ma, Kenny snuck in last night and we had mad sex with each other. Anyway, we're going to go back upstairs and do some more mad sex, make some latkes for after will ya?'"

Kenny's eyes grew thoughtful, pupils shifting to the right while his head nodded along to whatever thought he was currently feeling so smug about. And smug he was, for nothing else reserved that smirk he always drew out in these situations.

Kyle, growing tired of waiting for Kenny's _ingenious_ response, shrugged off Kenny's hands and made his way to the window.

"You know..."

Kyle didn't even let him complete the thought, the blond's tone giving him away, "No, Kenny, we're not pretending you're Stan either."

Although his expression changed to one of being caught red-handed, his tone stayed the same when he spoke again, "Ok, ok, that'd take some work and a black wig which we don't have-Oh, wow. Kyle I knew you were kinky but you seriously have that?" Kenny interrupted himself, eyes glancing to Kyle, who refused to glance back. _So guilty._ Kenny just knew it. Squinting as if doing so would make him able to read minds, he continued on his last train of thought-filing away the information for later. Perhaps a prank even... "Ok...So, I was just saying-what if we go out there and-"

"We're not actually going to tell mom we're having mad sex and to make us latkes!" Hands found hips before Kyle could stop the movement, eyebrows furrowing in frustration as eyes gave an annoyed glare at the blond.

"Just trying to help..." Kenny mumbled, both hands up now in surrender.

"Yeah, badly too." Kyle muttered to himself before he and Kenny followed through on picking up any random things strewn around the room. Until, that is...

Kyle took off the remaining stocking as soon as he noticed it was there. Looking at it, he couldn't withhold an eye-roll; Kenny caught him, "What?" the blond asked from his position of lying on the floor, looking under the bed-presumably for the other stocking.

"I just can't believe you sometimes. First the phone then-" Kyle paused and Kenny immediately covered his face with his hands, already knowing where Kyle was about to go with this.

"Before you say anything-" Kenny began slowly, using one hand to face it palm-up in a stop sign toward Kyle. The other rubbed his face.

"Before I say what, Kenny?" Kyle asked, hands reaching for his hips before he knew he'd moved them. "How I don't understand what you thought you were going to use _my cellphone_ for, or my impending rant about how you shouldn't 'take what isn't yours?' Please, Kenny, enlighten me."

"Can't we just let bygones be bygones?"

"No."

Kenny deflated; all remaining hope on avoiding an explanation drained from him. A sigh, "Ok, so I took your phone..." His mouth paused on its own, exhaling. "Um..."

Kenny always prided himself on being ahead of the curve when it came to witty responses. But now? He was at a loss for words. At least Kyle also seemed the slightest bit worried about his being unable to speak. Not that that stopped the redhead from staring him down intently while he waited for any amount of words to form from his boyfriend's mouth. "I...I took it accidentally?" It sounded weak-even to the one who said it-but the statement itself was not nearly as weak as the voice displaying it.

_Shit._

Kenny never thought he'd be so grateful for an alarm to sound but once it did he practically jumped over to the tiny clock and hugged it. Almost did too if it hadn't been for Kyle pushing him towards the window to leave.

"Alright, alright, I'm going!" Kenny said then, "Just let me get my stuff first."

Kyle waited for the other to get his belongings, giving him an exasperated look as the blond _winked_ while picking up the stockings. After he'd picked up the items, he made his way to Kyle with a smile. Kyle only frowned back, rolling his eyes as his lips were pecked softly. After the blond saluted and exited the window with a flair Kyle likened to his "stride of pride" a smile appeared.

Rubbing the back of his head, he started getting more presentable before going downstairs. He appeared at the bottom step just as Kenny knocked on the door. "I'll get it!" he yelled, smile growing bigger as he let Kenny inside, "Hey dude."

"Hey! What's for breakfast?" Kenny asked, strolling into the house in a practiced way.

Sheila's head peeked out from the kitchen into the living room, "Is that Kenny?" she asked. "I don't know why but I just knew he'd be over here again. A bit early though." she didn't say this accusingly-more fondly than not.

"He does like to freeload..." Kyle said teasingly.

"Bubele!" Sheila yelled, "Don't say such things, Kenny is welcome here anytime!"

"Yeah, _bubele,_ play nice." Kenny teased back with a low voice before, "So, Mrs. B, what's for breakfast?"

Kyle only rolled his eyes at the word before crossing his arms.

His mother was back in the kitchen, but heard the question still. "Oh, you're in for a treat today, I made latkes!"

Unfortunately Sheila would never understand why both boys exchanged looks at this, or why Kenny started laughing loudly after the proclamation. Kyle shook his head at her when she met his eyes, Kyle rolling his once in Kenny's direction. She hummed to herself, shaking her head. "Kids these days..." she mumbled. Kyle just smiled widely at this as his only response.

The weekend passed lazily, Kyle and Kenny choosing to sleep in both days and laze about playing video games and using each other as cushions. Kenny went home Sunday night and all was well. Apparently, everything was going well with Stan as well if his lack of texts said much. And they definitely did.

Though, Kyle refused to update Kenny with the few texts he did receive, knowing full-well the other would have no restraint when he saw Stan next but to make fun of him.

On Monday, Kyle was willing to forget the phone incident entirely, having brought it up with no reply from Kenny more than once over the weekend. He grew tired of fighting and Kenny's will managed to out-live his own. He chose to file it in his mind under "just another weird thing Kenny did." -Or he would have filed it away, if it wasn't for Kenny's decision to ask to see his phone every five minutes. First, it was a minor annoyance. Now, it was growing to be a stubborn stand-off between the two, a stand-off which resulted in Kyle's dismissal of the blond entirely. The worse part of it all was that it happened in their first class period together and they still had the rest of the day to go through. The class after passed without incident as Kenny wasn't in his second period. But the third…

As soon as the bell rang, Kyle waited until the class left before he made his way to the art room. He allowed himself a few breaths before he had to meet the blond, knowing they had the next class together. _Stupid Monday schedule just had to be different than every other day…_

Kyle could do this. _Just go in, shut-up and ignore the fact Kenny is being annoying today… And ignore the fact the art teacher is a bitch who hates you for no fucking reason 90% of the time._

Taking a deep breath, he entered the classroom. Bebe gave him a wink as he entered; Kyle smiled at this, but still had no idea where to sit. If he sat beside Kenny he risked the boy acting out in front of everyone, if he didn't then he was almost positive Kenny would do that to someone else. Though, as magical as he pretended that may sound, jealousy would rear its ugly head at some point. He knew this for a fact by now.

At least, that's what he kept telling himself when he sat next to Kenny that day.

And that's what he tells himself again when Ms. Addiris, the art teacher, pulls him out of the classroom by the _ear_ of all places, not ten minutes later. "I swear I didn't do anything!" he kept protesting, already knowing how his mom was going to over-react to the teacher. Another tug had him walking with her faster. Giving up, he let tried one last plead, "Could you at least let go of my ear?" _Ow ow ow ow... Fucking Kenny,_ he thinks as the classroom's door is shut right after they leave.

Kenny celebrated it all, finding the entire scene hilarious. Sure, it was actually his fault Kyle was taken away, but if the teacher thinks otherwise well then, great for Kenny. Until Kyle gets revenge of course... He shook his head, broad smile still on his face. He took the opportunity to grab Kyle's phone from his bag and put it in his pocket before he glanced over the students.

Eyes lit up at the prospect of the class without a teacher-or rather any authority at all. Seeing the stage in the middle of the circle of desks-he could practically feel a bright light-bulb pop up above his head. Grinning, he looked around as the classroom filled with students.

Walking confidently to the stage, he listened only half-heartedly as most of the class paused their conversations to watch him. Shoving the bowl of fruit that set on the desk-like stage, he turned away from it. Palms of his hands gripped the stage top behind him, easily lifting him with little force. He plopped down onto the smooth surface with ease and, seizing the amazing opportunity, he pulled down his hood and slowly unzipped his parka.

Giving the room a half-smile, he let the jacket droop off his sides, revealing his naked form underneath. He was no body-builder, not by a long shot, but he still contained the barest lines of muscle. As such, he had no problem showing anyone his form.

He leaned back on one hand, taking the classes silence with a few gasps and points as a compliment. With a wink in Clyde's direction-the brunette smiling back widely-he used a hand to unbutton and unzip his orange jeans. Watching a couple girls' blushing faces in amusement, he hopped a bit. Hands pushed at the edges of his pants, and with that hop he was able to pull them down over his bottom-legs against the desk helping this accomplishment.

Stretching out, he leaned back on one hand. He managed to tug down the pants further by wiggling his legs, and he ignored the laughs and whistles at this movement. Furthering his pose, he lifted his leg and bent it so his foot was flat on the stage surface. His other leg had managed to pull off the pants completely-his shoe falling to the floor deserted.

He lifted his head to look at the class's reactions, and he wasn't disappointed. Blushes, high fives and snickers radiated throughout the students. Except for Craig, who watched with a blank stare-one he seemed to reserve entirely for Kenny and his group of friends. The blue hatted boy saw him staring and with an unamused look he lifted his middle finger in Kenny's direction. Kenny blew him a kiss in response, _Fuck you too, Craig._

"Draw me like one of your French girls." he stated with a smile, Red giggled at this only making his grin widen.

Glad he wore underwear for once; he smirked and used his finger to lower the garment slowly. "Should I?" he asked lowly, knowing they could hear him anyway. To his surprise, Clyde stood at his words.

"I want to do it!" he replied. Kenny raised an eyebrow before distinguishing that Clyde wanted to join him, not pull down his underwear for him like he first thought.

The brunette strode quickly to the table, his own coat already taken from his body and strew over his desk seat.

Minutes passed with many poses and laughs, and it wasn't long before they both started posing as if they were models for the art class.-Loving every second of the attention, both did every pose they could think of by themselves until the girls started chiming in more sexual ones. They goaded them after a more-innocent pose with Clyde and Kenny's bodies facing the front. Shoulders touching, each had one knee bent and one leg dangling. Both offered one hand on the other's cheek, pushing lightly enough so their heads were close together and turned. Lips almost touched in this position and something sparked throughout the class with this innocent pose that changed the entire game around.

-0-

Kyle walked down the hallway with a burning face from both anger and embarrassment. His mother and teacher yelling at him-though one from the phone-at the same time he could handle. But his teacher had stepped over the line when she'd called him out for being, "ignorant of the arts." And with Sheila, you don't insult her family's intelligence, or rather their lack of in anything. It hadn't been the worse insult; in fact Kyle hadn't really cared what his teacher felt about him.

But then she continued on to say how he's a "no-good delinquent talking and ignoring his betters." And that resulted in his mother's screams. The two were arguing over everything from Kyle to modern art. He'd been utterly mortified. He just knew there was no way he'd walk out from this with good grades in art class- _if_ he was allowed to continue the class at all. The guidance counselor had appeared at one point, only to bear the brunt of the anger and leave at once.

Shaking his head and trying to breathe deeply to regain some semblance of his regular self-he arrived at the art room's door. He knew leaving the class alone typically resulted in the room's loudness, but this was ridiculous in his opinion. He'd heard the screams and claps before but outside the door it was even louder. Sighing, he wondered what they'd gotten into without their teacher.

When he opened the door the first thing he saw was Craig looking his way disinterestedly. The boy flipped him off as usual the moment he realized Kyle was looking his way. Ignoring him easily, his eyes raked over the students and rose to where they each were looking.

His jaw dropped, _What?_ He'd thought after dating Kenny so long he'd be used to his...theatrics. But he was wrong, incredibly so. Nothing could prepare him to see Kenny's bare ass up in the air with a completely nude brunette on top of the blond's back swinging a belt in the air in a circular motion.

Stepping further inside on automatic, he was allowed the view of Kenny on his hands and knees; Clyde sitting atop his back. Kenny was laughing along with Clyde, only to stop as the brunette's belt was placed in his mouth and situated like reins.

Wide eyed and pale faced, Kyle cleared his throat. "Teacher's coming back." he announced loudly, if a bit crackly. The affect was immediate with the students clambering to their seats while the ones already seated just shifted around awkwardly as if feeling unprepared.

Kyle, who'd watched them to take his eyes away from the sight that would never be fully unseen, looked back to a more-decent-than-before Kenny. He was alone on the stage while Clyde had already begun collecting his clothing from the floor. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments before Kyle looked away. He gathered his things from the floor next to his desk and was about to leave just as a half-dressed Kenny sat down and began putting on his parka.

The blond stared at him, and Kyle could feel it burning into his skin. Instead of looking back, he took out a book and began to pretend to read. Tediously, he flipped the pages. And when Kenny pushed himself close and tried to whisper something Kyle knew to be an explanation, the redhead shifted away noticeably in the opposite direction.

"Kye, I swear we were just-" Kenny said, voice louder than the whisper he'd intended in response to Kyle's movement away from him.

The bell rang just in time, and Kyle didn't waste any time as he grabbed his bag and walked straight out the door. Kenny was still shifting his clothing correctly as the teacher entered, resulting in being called out by her. He managed to exit without answering her with a hurried few students following behind him, but he knew the next time she saw him he'd have some explaining to do as to why his hand was down his pants. It wasn't his fault that he'd needed re-adjusting.

Kenny paused a few feet from the door to scan for Kyle. _Dammit._ He'd supposed he'd been stupid with Clyde but the two of them had never been exactly innocent when together. Hell, they'd even begun a weird make-out session once when they'd both proclaimed themselves the best at kissing and needed to know who was right.

There were no winners that day, least of all Kenny as Kyle had refused to answer him for a long while afterward. He still remembered his jealousy as Clyde, whose own partner hadn't warded him off from sex at all. And the evidence was made clear when the boy walked into school the next day sporting so many hickies that Kenny had been left wondering if the boy had enough space for anymore.

Shaking his head, he walked to his next class. He wished suddenly that he'd never taken Kyle's phone as he sat in his assigned seat. He really wanted to text him at the moment. Another part of him knew Kyle wouldn't bother answering even if he had it. Instead, he checked his messages, looking at Clyde's from the weekend. He had yet to reply back, and chose to do so while the teacher began their lesson.

He hadn't received too many messages, mainly ones asking who the guy was and one asking for math homework answers. He typed out that he hadn't done the homework and ignored the rest with a smile and a sinking feeling somewhere inside his chest.

After class he headed to lunch, seeing Kyle in the hallway but choosing not to approach, instead, he walked a few yards behind him. His eyes enjoyed the view of a nice; firm ass in Kenny's favorite pair of Kyle's jeans, but mind worked through what he could say to the redhead to make him feel better about what he'd done earlier. He also wanted to talk about the phone obsession that he must have seemed to suddenly possess in Kyle's perspective of the matter. Nothing had come to mind when Kyle turned into the lunchroom and opened the door to enter. Catching up, Kenny pressed the pads of his fingers against the glass just as Kyle let go and entered swiftly behind him.

Kenny watched Kyle glimpse at him once and smiled during only to see the other roll his eyes and continue forward without so much as a short greeting. He swallowed thickly, his mind focusing on Clyde's texts suddenly. He stumbled with this thought only to hold his head up high and forget about it a couple steps after.

He went to a different line than Kyle to get his food, eyes still glimpsing over to said-boy ever so often. After he paid, he sat at the table, in front of Stan. Cartman sat beside him directly after which left Kyle with the spot next to Stan.

Kenny took a fry and ate it slowly, watching Kyle pay at the registers. Cartman and Stan didn't offer many words besides just saying the usual, "What's up?" to each other. Kenny, the most silent of the group, didn't offer any words at all. They didn't seem to notice. Resting a cheek on his hand, elbow on the table, he watched the group while eating.

Then, Cartman spoke, "Did you hear about what Clyde-"

Kenny interrupted then, "Is this about art class?"

Cartman looked puzzled at that, "What happened in art class?"

It dawned on Kenny that Cartman was most likely about to refer to the photos making their way across the school. "In art class Kyle got in trouble so Ms. Addiris pulled him out and left everyone alone so me and Clyde-"

"Showed your asses." Kyle finished, placing his tray on the table. "Literally."

Cartman, who'd already been chuckling at the part where Kyle had gotten in trouble with the teacher, burst out laughing. Kyle rolled his eyes while Stan began to laugh as well. "It was stupid, not funny." Kyle said, even as he half-smiled.

Kenny felt slightly lighter with the smile's implications, meeting Kyle's eyes only once. He smiled and Kyle looked away. _So, not completely off the hook then,_ he read from the other's actions. Sighing, he ate a few more fries.

To keep Cartman from the subject of photos-or really whatever he was about to say, Kenny spoke up again. "It was great. I was going to just freak everyone out by getting almost naked but Clyde joins in and he gets full-on nude first chance. So, I got naked too to show Bebe that I wasn't afraid to do it. But then Clyde starts acting like we're in a muscle competition. So I start posing with him. Next thing I know we're on the desk humping each other since Red said we were afraid to and Heidi was whistling-Wait a minute, did I just get conned?"

Kyle just shook his head, amused eyes meeting his own momentarily. Then, Stan adds his own commentary. "Dude, I told you not to listen to Bebe, she loves people's asses too much to have a voice of reason." At that Kyle snorted.

"Without Wendy there she gets a little over-zealous about almost everything to do with people's butts." Kyle added, smiling a bit wider before eating a fry whole.

"Speaking of the over-zealous, how was your weekend Stan?" Kenny asked knowingly.

"Good." Stan replied simply, face reddening dramatically. "Can we just talk about you making an ass out of yourself?"

Kenny looked slightly disappointed, and stared while Kyle and Stan exchanged glances, Kyle making Stan more confident with just a look. _How do they even do that?_ Kenny wondered. "Well, I mooned the entire art class but they were enjoying it way too much to even care. I think that's pretty much it on the subject."

"I walked in on Clyde on top of his back while he was on his knees. Clyde put a belt in his mouth and they were basically pretending to be a horse and rider. Want to elaborate, Kenny?" Kyle asked, raising an eyebrow at the blond.

"Nah, why don't you just tell them why you got all flustered after seeing it?" Kenny asked in turn.

"I'm pretty sure that's obvious, anybody would've been embarrassed on your behalf." Kyle stated, meeting the blond's eyes evenly.

Cartman just watched the exchange, silently eating while Stan tried to gather himself-his mind somewhere else completely.

"You meant anybody would want my behalf."

Kyle just blinked at him and turned to Stan to whisper a few words to the boy. Stan perked at this, beginning to eat once more. Feeling ignored, Kenny turned to Cartman, watching the boy eat momentarily. "It really was fun though; I'm just hoping Bebe didn't film it like she did the make-out session." Kenny said nonchalantly, though felt a surge inside him that told him he wished quite the opposite. _What's wrong with me?_ he thought, eyes looking up at Kyle once more before the bell rang to dismiss them from lunch.

Kyle only shook his head in Kenny's direction before he stood and took his and Stan's trays to the garbage, taking his bag with him. He couldn't meet Kenny's eyes again, so he avoided the blond's smug face while instead deciding to walk with Stan back to class.-If only to ask him why he's not taking the "stride of pride."

When they made it out into the hallway, Kyle took Stan aside by the elbow and asked him frankly about everything in the only way he knew how. "Dude?" he asked.

"No, we're not doing that." Stan said suddenly.

"Dude." Kyle stated, tilting his head slightly.

Stan sighed, giving in, "Dude." He looked into Kyle's eyes and willed him to stop.

"Dude?" Kyle said again.

"Dude." Stan replied, crossing his arms.

"Dude?" Kyle asked once more, firmer than the last time.

"Fine!" Stan said then, hands finding the pockets of his coat and sliding themselves inside. His voice lowered then, moving his head closer to Kyle's own. "We did it."

Kyle moved his head closer as well, eyebrows furrowing. "And why is that cause for all the sudden embarrassment?" he whispered back.

Stan looked around suspiciously before, "Last night we did it again at her place and… Well, her parents walked in on us."

"What?" He knew, he'd heard, but for some reason he couldn't believe his ears.

Stan's blush darkened, "I know dude, I know, but it just sorta happened. And I was really-" Stan paused here. His arms seemed to stiffen, "I didn't tell you because after, you know, she got dressed and everything… She talked with them with me sitting right there. And now they're okay with us having sex but it was an awful night. Now all I can think about when someone mentions anything to do with her or the weekend is Mrs. Testaburger's face of horror."

He stopped there and he seemed to get very sick inside with the thoughts. Trying to remain positive, Kyle reached out grasped his shoulder. He patted, it, "At least they're okay with you guys having sex right?" Here, Stan gave him a look that told Kyle just how unhappy Stan was with his words. "Okay, so the situation's not ideal but…" He didn't really have a 'but' he hadn't thought past trying to keep a light and happy tone. Then, his thoughts caught up to him while Stan's face grew ever-more serious. "Um, what about your parents, dude?"

"What about my parents?" Stan asked hurriedly, having a bad feeling about whatever Kyle was about to say before the words were even out of said-boy's mouth.

Kyle looked at the wall behind the other before, "Well, you know her parents are bound to talk to yours, right?"

Stan paused at this, "Wait, they do that?"

"Well, yeah, at least I think most do. I mean what do you expect when teenagers are having sex? They can't just accept it and later when your parents find out be like, 'Oh yeah, we knew,' can you?"

"That's what I'd do," Stan admitted, shrugging. Instead of blushing his face was paling now, and Kyle couldn't help but feel sorry for causing it.

"Maybe they won't do it, who knows? It really just depends what kind of parents they are." Kyle replied. The bell sounded then, causing them both to jump. "Either way, don't worry about it. I'm sure Wendy will help talk to your parents or something if she needs to."

"I'm more worried about dad doing something incredibly stupid after finding out," he began, "like freak out or something."

Kyle wanted to reassure his friend against these thoughts but couldn't find it in himself to lie to him. The other would see right through him and they both knew it. "We'll think about it if it comes to that." he stated. Then, "Now, I'd ask if you wanted to skip class, but earlier I got an earful from ma and I'd really rather not unless you're too upset to go." he said this truthfully, feeling silly for bringing it up and slightly guilty as well. His hand squeezed Stan's shoulder lightly before falling from it completely.

The other shook his head, "No, I'll be fine. Wendy's in my next period and I'll try to talk it over with her."

Kyle nodded, "Let me know if you need me though?"

"Yeah, dude, course."

They walked to class after, choosing to part at Stan's first before Kyle walked to his own. It was the least he could do after making the other so late to his class. With a glance Kyle began his own walk, thinking of everything at once and trying to sort through each thought as they came.

He could deal with Stan's case later, though he was still trying to figure out why Stan hadn't at least texted him about the incident. It just wasn't like him at all. It was at night but it still didn't make sense as far as Kyle was concerned.

And thinking of things that didn't make any sense, Kyle thought over Kenny's recent phone obsession. He honestly couldn't think of why the blond would want his phone. They had the same make and model… _Maybe he sent something and needed to delete it before I saw it?_ Kyle could only frown at the thought. When Kenny had a secret, and it seemed as though this was just that-a secret, then he would do anything to keep it to himself. Trying to get something out of him, sometimes even something simple like what he was feeling, felt like talking to a brick wall. As if he was prodding the wall with a ball that bounced right back into his hand after each throw.

_Pointless…_

But then there was the biggest problem that only just occurred today. _Kenny and Clyde…_ As if their friendship wasn't the weirdest thing already, they just had to go a bit deeper into the weird aspect of their bond. They'd always appreciated each other's humor, but then kissing took it one step further. And now? Now, Kyle wasn't sure where on Earth their nudity would be expected _except_ for his good old hometown of South Park.

 _Surely other schools aren't this stupid._ Frowning, Kyle came to his classroom. Well, if random sexual things were more down Kenny's alley, Kyle would happily oblige. If only so that Kenny would learn a lesson as to why Kyle was so upset earlier. Seeing your boyfriend showing his entire body to a classroom full of people is embarrassing and weird. Seeing someone on top of him was just straight-up rude.

If Kenny wanted to tease the classroom, then maybe Kyle would teach him why he shouldn't tease. Even if it was something small and stupid, Kyle wanted to do it. And soon, so why not that afternoon after school? He'd have an hour or two to himself before Kenny came home from playing Magic: The Gathering with some of the guys. He'd just say he'd had too much homework to stay.

He entered the classroom, thoughts on revenge. His teacher just shrugged at him, not caring about his punctuality in the least. Kyle took his seat with minimal eyes on him. His tech classes never really cared much about anything. At all. It would be weird to him if it wasn't for the feeling of relaxation that overwhelmed him the minute he settled into his seat. No seats were assigned so he sat next to Token.

The boy gave him a slight nod in greeting as the room darkened considerably. He looked over to see the teacher had someone turn out the lights. The smart board switched on and a movie was put on in place of a lesson. Kyle knew his teacher tended to do this on days he just didn't feel like teaching, and didn't give it a second thought.

Approving of the silent room, he took out his math homework and began to work. He wasn't too surprised by the nudge from Token, but he definitely wasn't expecting it. The other tended to leave him alone and they rarely talked outside of random group texts and emails. He'd never known why this was, but something told him it had to do with Token's severe dislike of Cartman. After all that same dislike is what him and Craig had bonded over many times before. Looking over, Token pointed behind him. Kyle looked behind himself to spot Clyde waving at him.

One quick glimpse of the teacher had him knowing he could move without being argued with. He gathered his bag and homework and walked to a table in the back of the class where Clyde had his own textbook out on the table. Kyle eyed it to see it was the homework due today from math. Sighing, he already knew what Clyde wanted before his eyes met the other's pleading ones.

"Fine, I'm not doing it for you though," he whispered.

Clyde nodded in understanding, but something about his expression shifted at his words, showing Kyle just how much he disliked the thought of trying to learn formulas. Sitting down, he opened his book to the assigned page and began to explain in low tones how to get the answer to each problem. Though, by the time half an hour approached he'd somehow managed to find himself working out each problem alone on Clyde's paper. The brunette in question had forced Craig to the table and was chatting to him about everything under the sun.

It wasn't until class was almost over that Kyle joined into the conversation-Clyde having been unable to pull a response other than a lifted finger from Craig and growing tired of being bluntly ignored. He didn't know how he'd allowed himself to be roped into a discussion about Kenny-knowing how angry he was about the blond. Clyde didn't seem to notice his dour expression, and prodded him about how he'd clearly beaten Kenny in their posing contest in art class that day.

"It was a contest?" he found himself asking, getting interested in the conversation without meaning to do so. He knew Kenny had mentioned it before at lunch but hadn't realized just how much truth the word held. He'd supposed the words were a phrase but apparently Clyde had meant it, he had truly thought the posing was a contest. "How?"

Clyde paused to think it over, "How?" he asked back, not understanding the question.

"How was it a contest? I mean, Kenny said it started out that way, but what I walked in on…"

"Oh, you mean the horse thing?" The brunette laughed here. "That was seriously the best, did you know that Craig…"

But Kyle didn't want to hear about Craig. Not after hearing the other talk to said-boy for the last half hour. It did help that he knew how much Clyde had to say on the subject of his friend. He zoned out, his mind barely catching the sudden switch in topic when Token himself walked to their table and whispered something about needing Clyde to re-send a picture text.

"What picture?" Kyle asked, only half-curious, mainly wanting to get Clyde off the subject of Craig.

Token's eyes lit up with the question, while Clyde gave him a questioning look. "Wait, how don't you know yet-I sent you so many texts already."

"Oh, maybe I haven't gotten them?" He pulled his bag out and began to shuffle through it. The bell rang in the midst of this and the others began to pick up their belongings.

"Wait, where the Hell is my phone?" Kyle questioned to himself getting agitated with the hunt for the object.

"Hey, listen I'll send you everything again tonight. I just have to leave now-if I don't get to class on time though Ms. Mann is going to kill me!" Clyde said, rushing out the door with his group of friends, nearly forgetting his homework in the process.

Meanwhile, Kyle growled under his breath, his entire back having yet to yield the phone in question. Then, "Goddammit, Kenny." That was it, the last straw-the boy's want for Kyle's phone meant war. Kenny's favorite sweater of Kyle's kind of war.

His thoughts continued on his earlier want for revenge as he thought out his clothing choice. _Yes, that's what I need to do._

-0-

Kenny sneezed as he made his way to his final class, his ears burning randomly. _One more class then freedom!_ he thought happily to himself, palm rising to rub against his ear.

-0-

Kyle's last class continued the same as the first-a video and a silent classroom. He wondered how Clyde was doing with Ms. Mann, knowing she'd probably call the brunette out on having his homework completed by someone else. Everyone knew by now how bad Clyde was doing in her class, if only because the boy kept talking about it. Well, about it and about how hot he was since he started his newest workout routine.

After class, Kyle met up with Stan-who seemed to pale by the second. "Are you going to watch Kenny?" he asked, trying to keep Stan from thinking about his parents.

"I don't think so, dude, I need to watch Wendy's team tonight."

"Okay, just, maybe, I don't know… Try to talk to her about what to say to your dad?"

"Dude, I'm not going to tell them myself!"

Kyle sighed, "You should though, just think about it: Would you rather they find out from you or find out from Wendy's parents?"

"Wendy's-"

"And learn from her parents why exactly they know that you're having sex?" he interrupted.

Stan paused, looking away for a second. "Okay, so I'll tell them then." Then, as if trying to escape the subject himself, "Text me the scores?"

"Sorry dude, I've got a project to do tonight. I'll ask Cartman to send them though."

Stan nodded in understanding, "Alright, I'll tell you how it goes."

Kyle nodded back, waving him off as they both departed to different sides of the school. He felt his nerves rise as he realized he had no way to text Cartman. _"Goddammit_ , Kenny." he muttered as he left the school. _Looks like I'll have to call Cartman when I get home then._ He allowed himself a large breath, in then out, before he began walking at a more purposeful pace. _Afterward, I'll just get my stuff and go to Kenny's and it'll be over in like an hour._ he assured himself.

-0-

 _Revenge...Does this even count? Not like I can ask Stan about it but it just seems so perfect. Yet, why do I have this ominous feeling about all of this? Nerves._ Kyle confirmed. _It's always because of nerves..._

Kyle continued trying to reassure himself with science as he pulled off his jeans. They pooled around his feet and he stepped out of them easily. Kicking them to the side, he looked to Kenny's bed. Reassuring himself that Kenny wouldn't laugh, even as the thought of the blond doing such had already entered his mind 20 times before he'd even broken into the bedroom by window alone. He couldn't believe how easy breaking-in was at this point, remembering the many nights he'd done so even before their relationship became what it now was.

_Inhale._

_1_

_2_

_3_

_Exhale_

_1_

_2_

_3_

_4_

_5_

Closed eyes opened. _I can do this._ A little teasing pose and then leave before Kenny can even do anything. It was perfect, or so he hoped. Praying for this not to be his most humiliating moment (right after the never to be mentioned again iPad nightmare), Kyle hopped onto the bed. It even sported a headboard nowadays, supporting the thought that maybe Kenny had a better job than he'd thought before, or rather, worked harder there than at school.

Feeling awkward and a little unsure, Kyle adjusted his favorite argyle vest once more before laying on his side atop the sheets. Head upon hand, he shifted until he believed he was almost in the pose most burlesque paintings favored.

And so he waited. And waited. Waited. And shifted. _I give up._ There's only so much time he can wait on Kenny before his nerves finally won, anxiety clouding his once-encouraging heart with want to leave. He felt the need became desperate as he thought of how short he was on time before Kenny would be home. Scrambling upwards in a hurry now, he was only able to still completely-a deer meeting headlights-as Kenny opened the door to his bedroom.

Legs spread, feet on comforter leaving the knees in a bent position as upper body propped on elbows, he stopped breathing. He knew his face was red before Kenny's roaming eyes even reached it. And when they did, the backpack the blond had held by a strap dropped. It was the only sound before Kenny practically slammed the door shut behind him.

Kyle, unused to the silence Kenny was submitting him to, could only guess the other to be mad. But at what? Sneaking into his house? Doing something so stupid as-Kyle's mouth dropped open, _How the_ fuck _did he get naked that fast, he was wearing a parka and..._ Kenny advanced, literally jumping on top of a very shocked Kyle, who could only scream out in answer.

-0-

"Oh, _please Kenny-"_ Kyle begged, the absolute need in his tone pushing the pace further. Forced to stop his words even as arousal soared, his flush darkened. Hands pressed against the headboard in front of him and used it as their only leverage against the plowing force filling him from behind. Back arched as knuckles whitened against the gripped board, and thoroughly bitten lips were bitten once more-only this time by their owner.

Knees burned as if they had been scraped on rubble and carpet alike as they rubbed against the sheets below with every thrust that pushed his body forward only to steadily retreat and force him forward once more. Legs pulsed with a need to stretch-if only to find more leverage against Kenny's aggressive movements. Knees kneaded the comforter beneath him, toes curling and uncurling faster and faster until their movements were but a twitch.

Another thrust forward harshly, a barely-felt arm linked around his hip, nails dragging the soft; warm skin below. Another hand threaded through his hair, tugging it until the thrust had the hand pulling back. Kyle gasped, head falling as far back as his neck allowed, neck exposed completely. Prickling scalp heated as resolve weakened further. And that was all it took.

One last thrust, one last grind, one last yank of the hair and dragging of nails sent his shaking body into a state of tremors starting inside before they escaped to his fingers. One shaking hand fell to meet Kenny's own that now clutched helplessly at his stomach. He grasped the hand, "Ah!" The noise barely escaped his teeth now buried into the bottom lip, a trickle of blood the only sign of how deep they were held.

He gasped as hardened muscle throbbed against his own pumping ones. Tremors that began at his fingers found their way down quickly, weaving through his muscles until they grasped the twitching toes which curled fully for a last time. Body stilled then, his groin pulsated; throbbing as a wave of warm sticky fluid pushed forth from his body. Stilled hand now squeezed the top of Kenny's, who in turn pushed his fingers upwards and though the spaces between Kyle's own.

Breaths in short pants now as they followed every unclenching muscle. The energy pooled inside him-the adrenaline and sweet strain alike, circulated the fluid until it was pushed forth as well, draining Kyle completely. Even his insides shook-muscles pumping strongly upward and downward as they grasped onto the warmed muscle pushing into his defeated body-which by now was only held upwards by the Kenny alone. Kenny's fluid and member alike were pushed further inwards by the muscles surrounding.

He panted, the sweat on his forehead pooling downward as he grasped for air. The hand pressed into his hair pulled free just as the hot skin of a forehead fell onto his back, followed by a stomach and heaving chest. Cool sweat was quickly made warm as it was compressed between the two feverishly hot bodies.

Kenny's fingers forced his own down as his free hand grasped the back of Kyle's completely numb one which barely held the headboard top anymore. Intertwining the fingers there, Kyle barely felt the deep; heaving breath the blond atop him exhaled onto his skin.-The breath tickling slightly against the hotness Kyle already felt there from exertion alone.

Insides turned to pulsing muscles and melted resolve, slowly pumping around the newly-softened member nestled amongst them, as warm fluid worked its way further inside of his body. Nerves of the prostate burned slightly, still twitching from their last meeting with the outside force pounding against them. Kenny had treated the area cruelly, hitting the exact area harder and harder until Kyle agreed to beg for reprieve.

The overwhelming sensation of burning alone had him gasping-but met with the pushing of Kenny's member Kyle hadn't stood a chance. He had shaken with a desire to come that Kenny had already denied a time in advance. He had started in the other's arms each and every push, tears falling of their own will by the time a far too-snub Kenny agreed to stop testing Kyle's meter of horny to absolutely screaming. It hadn't been far off from the latter before his pride had melted and he'd begged for release.

Revenge hadn't gone exactly the way he'd planned. In fact, he may be hazy from the greatest sex he'd ever encountered but he knew somehow-deep within his mind's fickle sex-fed numbness and glee-that he had never wanted-well intended to-have sex that night whatsoever.

_Goddammit, Kenny..._

The feeling of smooth lips pressed against the heated skin of his back, and though he knew Kenny didn't mean it as such, he took it as a silent apology.

Too tired to even sigh, exertion from an entire night's worth of Kenny's cruel yet oh-so wonderful teasing bringing him to the point of physical and mental exhaustion. Upon his next heavy blink, he found his eyes refused to open again. And next thing he knew, he was within the paradise of a dream he'd never remember. _So worth it._ his last thought chimed. The lips, pressed against Kyle, upturned upon feeling the other's already-sinking body turn to full-on dead weight.

The click of a phone was the last noise Kenny made before he settled into a sleeping position on his bed, pressing against Kyle's worn body softly and kissing his back once more.


End file.
